Housed in the historic Heritage House, First Comes Love: Courtship in the Victorian Era explores the customs, rituals, and evolving expectations of romance and marriage during the 19th century. The exhibition examines how courtship transformed from a matter of economic and social necessity into a pursuit of love and emotional fulfillment, reflecting the changing roles of women and their gradual shift toward personal agency in relationships.
Visitors will encounter an array of artifacts that illuminate the intricacies of Victorian courtship, including handwritten letters, delicate lockets, and a beautifully preserved wedding gown. Music, literature, and sentimental objects—such as fans used for secret communication—offer insight into the coded ways individuals expressed affection within the constraints of social decorum. The exhibition also highlights how public spaces like opera houses, church gatherings, and tennis clubs provided new opportunities for courtship while strict chaperoning ensured propriety was maintained.
From left to right: A cabinet card portrait of Catharine Bettner, circa 1885, and a delicate sheet music cover from 1860–1880 for My Dearest Dear Little Heart, composed by E. Millard. (Courtesy of the Museum of Riverside)
The Heritage House itself plays a crucial role in contextualizing these themes. Built-in the late 19th century by Catharine Bettner following the passing of her husband, the home represents both the expectations placed upon women and the ways in which they navigated and, at times, defied those norms. Catharine, a first-generation Irish immigrant, moved to Riverside with her family in the 1870s and later managed her household independently after her husband's death. Her decision to build and maintain her own residence symbolizes a subtle but significant step toward female autonomy, echoing the broader cultural shifts of the era.
Throughout the house, objects on display will be marked with a special icon to guide visitors through the exhibition. Highlights include an 1892 silk wedding dress and floral wreath in the parlor, 19th-century sheet music in the music room, and a first edition of Jane Eyre in the sitting room—each reflecting the era's romantic ideals and evolving gender expectations.
Alongside the exhibition, a series of public programs will bring these historical themes to life:
- Saturday, April 12, 2025: Curatorial Tour; A guided walkthrough exploring love and marriage through the exhibition's objects and stories.
- Friday, May 16, 2025: Movies on the Lawn: It Happened One Night; A screening of this 1934 classic highlighting themes of love and independence.
- Friday, June 20, 2025: Movies on the Lawn: Father of the Bride; A 1950 comedy reflecting evolving marriage traditions.
- Saturday, June 28, 2025: Candlelight Concert; A live performance under the stars celebrating the romantic spirit of the Victorian era.
By connecting historical courtship rituals to the Bettner family's own story, First Comes Love offers a compelling look at love, tradition, and the evolving role of women in society.
More information: From March 14th – June 29th, 2025, all tours of Heritage House will include access to this exhibition. Explore items from the Museum of Riverside’s collection and book your tours here.
By Taylor Bythewood-Porter for the Museum of Riverside
